Surf's Up

“Surf’s up dude!”

“What are you, a stereotype?”

“Whaddya mean? Like a Sony?”

“You just said ‘surf’s up, dude’.”

“Well, it is! If we don’t get going, we’ll miss it!”

“Miss the surf?”

“Yeah!”

“How does one miss the surf?”

“Usually at a bar. Just kinda hits you. One minute you’re drinkin’ and the next you know you’re missin’ the surf.”

“Are you trying to tell me you pine after the surf?”

“Yeah. Don’t know what a tree’s gotta do with it 

though.”

“A tree?”

“Yeah - pine.”

“Oh, ‘pine after’ - to yearn for - to miss. To have a fondness for something not currently present. Pine after.”

“Ah.”

“So.”

“We’re gonna miss it.”

“I see. If we don’t grab boards and suits and rush on down to the beach right now, then, someday we’ll be sitting at a bar reflecting on what could have been and I’ll be struck with a great regret that I did not, in fact, go surfing today.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I suppose I can’t argue with that.”

“You just were.”

“Yeah, but now I’m done. Let’s go surfing this instant.”

“Well, we can’t now.”

“What do you mean we can’t? Are you telling me that, somehow, during this conversation the surf went down? Are you implying that in our banter we’ve somehow passed the prime moments to take advantage of this hydrological phenomena?”

“... doo doot do-do-do.”

“Did you just-?”

“You said phenomena! What else was I going to do!?”

“You could have answered my question.”

“What was your question again?”

“Why can’t we surf!”

“Oh, we can surf.”

“Why’d you say we can’t now?”

“Oh, ‘cause I gotta take a shit first.”