Spring Ahead

 [Author's Note: they can't all be winners]

Art by Will

Pen springs. Watch springs. Leaf springs. Twisty bits of metal that make the world run. Now I was running, delivering amusing automata to good boys and girls. Those springs, however, had me all twisted up.

You'd think making a spring would be easy. Shape some metal the way you'd like an presto! But no, there's heating and cooling and the selection of alloys and all that sort of stuff. You have to consider how many times the spring will need to expand or contract. You have to consider how far it should move. In short, it's complicated.

Shark?

Art by Kaitlin

"Are you a shark or are you just labeled 'shark'?" I asked.

"What are we if not a collection of labels?" the shark rejoined.

"Surely there's a truth though - are you a shark?"

"No, I'm just a drawing."

"What?"

"I'm merely a few squiggles with, apparently, a pyramid on top and the word 'shark' written on my body."

What are you even talking about?" You're a fish of some sort.

"Big words for a stick figure!"

Become The Snail

Art by Griff

 “Wherever you go, there you are,” said the nomad. I half raised my ale in salute, appreciating the words if not absorbing them.

“To being there.” I added after a moment of performed reflection.

The nomad nodded, but I felt he wanted more. We sat for a second.

“Who are you?” He asked.

Shoreline

Art by Jen

 Shoreline.

A fractal meeting place.

Infinite collisions on the coast.

Water meeting rocks making sand.

Algae floating and sinking and, maybe, in a million, transforming.

I watched a beached boat rock back and forth as the water massaged it. I felt like an interloper - someone in the sitting room of a hospice facility. This boat had been born, lived its life, and now Sat here rotting. I had never experienced it in its halcyon days. I had never even seen it float. I knew it only as the boat on the beach. The rotting boat on the beach. It would eventually rot completely or be taken away to whatever dump they put boats in.

There Wolf?

Art by Jered

 "Yes, I'm aware of the problem," I said into the phone. "And no, Mister Mayor, I don't have a solution."

I was met with a curse and a dead line - he'd hung up on me.

"So much for that," I muttered to myself. I don't know why I'm supposed to have the answers to the recent killing spree, but I kept getting the calls. It seemed to me this was more of a job for the sheriff or someone more senior in government. Why involve a lowly lumberjack like myself was beyond me, but I wasn't a lumberjack because of my brains.

The killings had shaken the village. They were gristly affairs - either the result of a wild animal or a wild man masquerading as such. The first death - the killing of a town drunk - had been excused as a man who'd stumbled into trouble. The second was an unfortunate coincidence - a farmer who'd probably been protecting his animals from an unknown assailant. It was the third killing, however, that had roused the community to action. Little Suzie had just turned ten the week before. Her body - or what was left of it - had been found by her seven year old brother.

Priesthood

Art by Peter

 I prostrated myself in front of the priest.

A heavy silence blanketed the catacomb.

The air was thick. The cold stones pressed into my forehead and elbows and knees. The crenulated piece of wood that separated the consecrator from the consecratee seemed like a two-story rampart. Then he spoke.

I dutifully listened to his words.

Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

Tripartite. Singular. Three leaves of a clover. Three points of a triangle. Three arms of a cross.

The cross. The sacrifice. The mystery.

How does the Almighty inhabit flesh? How does an immortal die?

Questions wrestled for my attention with the more pressing issues in my body. A pose, held, becomes its own torture. A mortification. A requirement for purification.

Hoarse Horse

Art by Wyatt

"Hoarse," he said raspily.

"I see," I said. Was this horse a Pokémon or something?

"No, hoarse," he said again with emphasis. "Water?"

"Sure?" I said, confused. "What about it?"

"Where?" Another single syllable spilled from his lips.

"Oh, just around the corner." I jerked my thumb in the direction of the self-service jug.

"Thanks," he said, trotting off in that direction.

After a moment or two, he was back in front of me.

Shark Batteries

 So there I was, no shit, in my electric boat with a shark swimming nearby. I'd heard about this scenario somewhere, but couldn't recall the exact specifics of the situation. In any case, a storm was raging, I was far from shore, and my emotional support llama was of absolutely no use.

In short, I was screwed.

It seemed like this was going to be a 'man versus' nature story with myself as the protagonist. Some real gritty stuff could happen - how would I weather the storm? Would I have to fix a leak in my boat as part of the road of trials? Would the third act be a confrontation with the shark where something set up earlier pays off? A new skill or tool or knowledge of myself?

Jonjoli

 John Jolie was pretty pickled. As he carefully navigated one more sip of beer to his lips, he reflected on what all had transpired that day - no, week - that had led him to this particular besotted condition.

"It all started Tuesday," he spoke to no one. "It was that fucking goat."

He was referring to a goat that had locked eyes with him on - you guessed it - Tuesday. By 'locked eyes with' I mean looked in his direction. Goats, with their rectangular pupils and approximately 320 degrees of vision, don't really 'lock eyes' with anyone. Regardless, the goat had pointed its head in Joh's direction and promptly died. It was a whole thing.

Shocked by this development, John had made his way to the farmhouse where he presumed the goat's owner lived. He'd knocked on the door and - having waited a few minutes - began writing a not on a scrap of paper mentioning the goat's demise. At the precise moment he reached out to wedge the note between the door and door jamb, the door opened.

Don't You Love Me?

Art by Ginnie

Don't you love me?

Of course I love you.

I can tell when you're lying

No you can't - that's my special power.

I didn't mean it like that. I know you. I've known you for a long time now. I can't necessarily tell when others are lying, but you? I can tell when you're lying.

Ah, and?

And you don't love me anymore.

Valhalla

Art by Abe

Brother!

Brother!

Tonight we dine in Valhalla!

Valhalla!

Yes, Brother. It is time to dine with our elders. To make good on our promises. To prove ourselves worthy of our family name.

Brother.

Brother?

What if we didn't?

Creation

Art by Matt

"Look what I made," I said, holding my creation up for all to see.

Nobody seemed to notice.

"Look what I made!" I said a little more forcefully.

Again, nobody seemed to notice.

I went up to the nearest man and showed him my creation.

"Look what I made," I implored.

"Oh, nice," he said, looking at it for a mere moment.

"Do you like it?" I asked.

"Sure, it's great," he answered. "Now why don't you go show it to someone else."

Happy Burstday!

Content Warning: a gory death

Art by Shane

"Happy Burstday!" the crowd cheered at me.

"Thanks," I said. "But it's not my birthday?"

"Not his birthday! Not his birthday!" a smaller man with red hair and a green-and-yellow striped shirt cackled.

"Not his birthday!" the crowd echoed, then broke into laughter.

"I'm serious though! It's not my birthday!" I tried.

"We never said it was," answered the strange man.

"But you-"

"It's your BURST day!" the man said, grinning from ear to ear.

A Long Little Doggy

Art by AJ

"I said 'get along little doggy'!"

"Yeah, and I asked 'how long?' I don't understand the confusion."

"No, it's just a saying, like 'move along' or 'hit the dusty trail'."

"And what does it have to do with dogs?"

"Nothing, I suppose. There aren't any reptiles involved in 'later alligator' or 'in a while, crocodile' phrases."

Little Kitten

Art by Gabby

"Mrow?" the most adorable kitten vocalized as she looked up at me.

"Meow!" I responded automatically.

"Mrow?" she vocalized again.

"What do you want?" I wondered aloud.

I squatted down and, after a 'these are my hands' pause, I stroked her gray fur for a little bit. She moved and wiggled and rubbed against my hand. Her purrs vibrated against my fingers.

"Where did you come from?" I wondered some more. My inquiry was met with another purr. The kitten rubbed against my hand, its fuzz a delight against my knuckles.

In Emily We Trust

Art by Bennett

"Dick Tracy isn't just some party game, you know," Emily said, pointing at my crotch. "It's also a comic book and stuff."

"Watch," I said, pen in hand.

"I already saw!" Emily exclaimed.

"No, he had a watch. It was a radio or something too." I explained.

"Oh, true," Emily said. "That doesn't explain what you're doing."

"Nothing really - just following some advice I read in a book."

"Tyler, what was the title of this book?"

"Ten Ways to Ruin Your Life - why?"

Sunset

Art by Dan

We sat there for a long time. Together. Quiet. Watching the water and the setting sun and the breeze rustle through the grass and the leaves. We were at peace, together, despite the circumstances. I was loath to leave, but nothing lasts forever. Nothing lasts forever.

I was the first to move, the first to break the silence. I squeezed his hand for an eternity that was probably five or ten seconds and let him know it was time to go. I was the first to stand up. I was always the first.

As we walked back to the car, I mused on being first. Out of a score of cousins and the dozen of aunts, uncles, and parents who raised us, I had been the first to complete college. I was also the first girl in our family who hadn't gotten pregnant as a teenager. I was on my way toward breaking out of a small town and finding something bigger for myself. Until, of course, something small found me.

Dick Dragon

Art by Elizabeth

"I thought you all breathed fire," I said, looking up at the great wyrm. The beast, two stories tall with wings that could hide a house, scowled down at me.

"That's racist," it sputtered.

"Sorry! I didn't mean-"

"Oh, nobody ever means it."

"I, I just mean it wasn't my intent to insult you."

"Yet here we are."

Germination

Art by Cardi

"Oh, babe, we're going to have to disinfect that. Come with me."

"Is that the burny stuff?"

"Hydrogen peroxide, yes. I'm sorry honey, but we don't want any germs to get in."

"I don't want to."

"I know you don't hon, but a little hurt now is better than a lot of hurt later."

"I don' wanna!"

"It'll be so quick and we'll put a little medicine on. You can even pick the band-aid and I'll kiss it to make sure it heals up nice."

"Can I get a dinosaur?"

Vampire Snail

Art by Petra

 "What's the meaning of this?"

"What's the meaning of what?"

"This! My car! What the fuck is this all about?"

"What? It's a joke!"

"A joke! You painted shit all over my car!"

"Yeah, I got you a paint job. It's the letter 'S' all over the car."

"What. The. Fuck."