[WP] Seasoned wizards only use dead languages such as Latin for their incantations. Those less experienced quickly learn why--as the meanings of words change, so too do the effects of their spells.
"Oh, wow, I can't believe how amazing you are!" the red, cherubic creature said, looking at me with big doe eyes.
"I'm... I'm sorry, come again?"
"You're just the best! You did such a good job summoning me!"
I surveyed the scroll again for a moment, making sure that I'd had everything go right. All the ingredients were correct, I hadn't made any substitutions, and I definitely hadn't tripped over my words like in the lavatory / laboratory mix-up a few years back.
"So, I'm sorry," I started, unsure of how to proceed. "I summoned you here to destroy my enemies and cast fear into those who would dare oppose me. Did I mix something up?"
"Oh, no, I'm more of a flunky - a toady, a bootlicker, that sort of thing. For you, though, I can do my absolute best to scare folks!" The creature punctuated its sentence by growling and making a claw-like gesture that was more bar-cougar than mountain-cougar.
"Ugh!" I grunted as I threw my big pointy hat in frustration. Well, not so much threw as set it rapidly down on a nearby counter - one would not want to throw anything surrounded by potions and elixirs in a no-expenses spared bathroom like this.
"What's the matter? You did great!"
"I'm just not sure what I did wrong - the scroll says I was summoning a loyal beast of awful disposition!"
"Well, that's what you got - I'm yours, Mister, and I'm entirely filled with awe."