Monday, July 6, 2020

A New Take on the Arthurian Legend [59]

"Come, comrades, it is time for us to do battle," Arthur, King of All he Surveyed, looked at the lumps of men and scattered beer cans on his living room couches.

"To Avalon?" hiccuped Lance.

"To Avalon!" Arthur proclaimed. This was met with groans. The groans were met with prodding kicks and small pushes as the King mustered his men.

Eventually the four of them piled into the more-rust-than-car 1977 Caddy Deville ("with electronic fuel injection and quartz digital clock") and began the great journey across town to Avalon Lanes. It took twenty minutes, as the main road had a DUI checkpoint, but they made it nonetheless.

"We have come to join the list and do battle!" Arthur said as he burst through the doors.

"Get the fuck out of here!" screamed Morgan, proprietor of the establishment. "You disgraceful shitbags are't allowed in here after what you pulled last time."

"Good Lady, we have purged ourselves of corruption and are--" Arthur paused as he watched Morgan pull the crossbow down off the wall behind the bar. "--just leaving," he recovered.

"To the lake!" Lance cried, taking charge.

"To the lake!" the three echoed. They once again piled into the car.

"The sorceress has strong magicks," Arthur whispered as the car chugged without starting. Merlin kicked the dash and the car rumbled to life.

"We have magicks of our own - to the lake!" Merlin said.

"To the lake indeed, comrades," said Percy. "But first to my dealer? We gotta pick up some grass."

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