Sunday, April 1, 2018

Chaos

I am chaos. I am confusion. I am that wriggling doubt that gnaws at the edges of your mind when your head rests on the pillow.

Where could you be? Where would you be? Where will you be?

Your life could be better!

A better lover could be yours!

A better job (indeed, wealth freeing you from work) will be your next!

A better body is just days away!

Why haven't you made the switch?

oh?

YOU DID!?



You left your lover? You left your job? You've given up comfort for the promise of wealth and beauty?

YOU FUCKED UP

You'll never achieve greatness in anything you do and you've gone and thrown away your security, your safety net. What the fuck were you thinking when you decided to pursue your dream? Who said that was a good idea?

You'll die alone, broken. Probably in a ditch somewhere. You'll be like Edgar Allan Poe, except you won't leave behind anything anyone ever wants to read (assuming you ever write anything!). Sure you'll travel, but to what end? No one will care about your tales and all you're going to be left with is a huge gap on your resume.

You won't have healthcare. You won't have retirement. You won't have anyone to lean on in times of trouble.

You won't have any roots in any community - you know damn well people don't stick around you for more than a few months. They find better friends and better lovers. They find more attractive people. You are, at best, the springboard for better relationships of all types - near the floor and never going to get any higher.

YOU WILL FAIL

Your belief that you can be one of the people you read about will be your undoing - for every story of triumph, for every story of victory, there are hundreds (if not thousands or millions) of failures that aren't written down. Hundreds, thousands, millions of studies in pain, disappointment, and death.

It's almost guaranteed that you will fail. It's almost guaranteed you'll never be remembered. It's almost guaranteed you'll die sad and alone.

WHY TRY

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