Thursday, May 4, 2017

Twas the Night Before Friday

[Written Round Robin style in March 2017. Many coauthors. Some small corrections, but mostly untouched. You decide if anyone knew how rhyming couplets work!]

Twas the night before Friday, and all through the Coop, the redditors gathered to consume some soup. I looked over the menu, in search of something tasty. I needed a menu item clarified, so I asked the guy next to me - yeah, the guy that's pasty. When I looked in my hand, I saw that I had a beer, a wine, and a whiskey that's bland. And then, all of the sudden I heard my favorite band. Radio isn't dead, at least not the FM band!

So I jumped to my feet as the funky music blared, not one person noticed - no one cared! I'm disappointed Simon didn't paint the Eagles on the side of his car. But Jesse gave no fucks, as he talked to Nihar.

With whiskey in hand and hummus en route, it was all I could do to hold in a toot. I knew it was getting late, but I had too much fun with these people at this meal, but I had to scoot. I was soon that Michelle was giving me the boot.

Out to the street, I went in a dash. I had only had two beers, the Nitro and the Allagash. This sober feeling is terrible! The sweater was unwearable! And the weather hardly unbearable!

My phone then buzzed Tinder - a match! Maybe tonight will be a night of snatch. So I messaged the girl and she agreed to the bar names I sent in a batch.

As I approached the bar, all in a tizzy, I slowed down to discover I was actually dizzy. I fell into a panic as I couldn't meet my date whose name was Lizzy. She was a smoking hot blonde with long hair aplenty and she walked in holding to ventis. What a basic bitch, I thought to myself, there's no way I'm letting her ride in any of my Benz's. But I got a little nervous when she went to the men's. Though I trusted her still and soon found myself in her Benz. I wanted to escape, I even called my friends! No one answered so I guess no one would come to my rescue. So I thought to myself "looks like dick's on the menu."

We entered her house on the corner of Market, everything seemed nice 'til we got to her room. She was nice enough to offer me some shrooms. Into my mouth went the shrooms and so I prepared myself for the journey. Holy fuck I'm tripping more balls than a soccer tourney.

So I prepared my anus since I was tripping though her reaction caught me off guard. It turns out my anus will not be scarred! Instead it would be my throat that would get violated. It was a hell of a night, my birthday belated.

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