An Interview on Live TV [173]

Tony smiled an impish smile for no one as he waited behind the curtain for the interviewer to finish the introductions. Jane was less comfortable, squirming at the thought of the hot lights and the implied attention. Neither had a good sense of the crowd that could occasionally be heard coughing or shifting until, with the announcement of their names, the crowd exploded into applause.

The two waved and smiled and looked around at the cameras, not sure which to focus on. Eventually they were herded like sheep down a path to where the interview was to take place - a standing table with a jet black top. Their product - accentuated in neon colors - stood out like brilliant Emerald City from sepia Kansas. The interviewer, with his big bleached smile and caked makeup, asked them a couple perfunctory questions. How they met. Did they ever see themselves being on live TV. Did they try the drink on any pets first. Questions meant to soften them up and make the audience laugh.

The Main Character Ignored the Warning Label [128]

The doctor looked over the man sitting on the examination table. She looked at his wife, who had accompanied him. It was a strange match - some blonde model and a gross, blob of a man. A blue blob.

"How exactly did this happen?" the doctor asked, doing her best to keep a neutral tone. The two were quick to blame each other, each pushing into the story before the other had gotten even a sentence out. The doctor was patient though, and the story emerged gradually.

A Hairbrained Scheme [178]

"It'll never work," Jane declared, holding a can of silver spray-paint in one hand and a banjo in the other.

"Sure it will! Where's your sense of adventure?" her boyfriend, Tony, said with a shit-eating grin.

"My sense of adventure died when we tried to make sriracha horseradish in the shed."

"A small mistake - I'm an inventor, a risk-taker, an entrepreneur!"

"A small mistake! The city brought in a hazmat team!"

"It wasn't that bad."