Sunday, December 17, 2017

The Overworked Mailman

[Written Round Robin style in October 2017. Four coauthors. Some small corrections, but mostly untouched.]

Yesterday I got into a fight with my mailman. He tried to tell me that I was ordering too many oversized packages. I was told in no uncertain terms where I could put any further packages - and it wasn't in the mail room. He told me I had to put them in my grandma.

Once I told my grandma about this, she went for her gun in the closet. Grandma was always sensitive over the size of her vagina. I watched her waddle with disgust, her labia lips clearly slapping her knees with each step. It was a sound I'd heard my whole life, I knew she was pissed... but I had also noticed the piss streaming down her leg - time to clean that up.

The mailman had no idea what he was in for. I went onto Amazon and found the biggest item I could find. It's unbelievable that you can buy elephants on Amazon now, so I ordered three. You should have seen the shit he had to go through to get those things to my house. Unfortunately, one of the boxes fell fell sideways when he pulled up to the house. One of my neighbors called PETA and all hell broke loose. They'd never gotten a call about someone catapulting elephants over a fence and having them parachute down into a baby pool. Once the baby pool was full, they hadto call in reinforcements. Grandma was insisting on joining the elephants in the pool. The mailman smiled as his plan came together. All he needed was grandma's gun... he charged her and lept for the gun - she panicked. The mailman began leading the elephants into her floppy vagina with the gun now in his hand.

PETA, the neighbors, and now a TV crew were all horrified by the pachyderm parade. How was she doing it? We later found out the elephants were exiting right through her asshole. Somehow it took them three days to exit. In the mean time she was my six-ton grammie; elephants up her ass, I ate crow and apologized to my mailman.

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