The New Neighbor

John had just finished his first cup of coffee for the morning when he heard a knock upon his front door. Thinking it was his car pool arriving quite a bit early, he rushed to open it without checking first. To his surprise, he now stood face to face with an olive green mass of flesh with four arms, six eyes, and a mouth full of big yellow teeth. John stared, not knowing quite what to do.


“Uhm, hello,” gurgled the beast. “I’m your new neighbor, Fred.”

“Oh, hello,” John managed. The two shared an awkward pause.

“Uhm, well, I’m next door. Er, I mean, we’re having a party next door if you’re free tonight.”

“Oh. Thanks.” John regained his composure. “Yes. Thanks. Tonight then.”

“Yes. Ciao.”

The monster wandered off and a much confused John went back inside.

***

John spent the day telling his coworkers about the strange creature which now inhabited his neighborhood. It took him until just before quitting time to decide in favor of attending the party.

After arriving home, he took about twenty minutes to work up the courage to wander next door. Finally ready, he approached the beast’s house and made to knock on the door. Just as he went to do so, the door opened to blaring noise and the thing he saw earlier staring at him.

“Uhm, good,” the beast belched. “You’re here. Cat?”

John looked at the piece of hairy meat being offered him and was on the next plane out of town.