Girls, music, wine,
the encouragement of friends for me to join the enthusiastic, rhythmic melee.
All of it not foreign, yet strange and uncomfortable to me in a very familiar set of circumstances.
I know this place.
The language, the street names, no. But this place - an in-between space where I wish both to be discovered, yet not uncovered - is both familiar and disheartening for me.
I want them - THEM - to both break me out of this place that I'm in as well as leave me to stew in my own juices.
This, as usual, I find most annoying and disruptive of others' good times - a state I wish not to be in, but it is the only time that I find my pen and paper inviting. This is not constructive.
[Written 27 May, 2011]
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