Thursday, February 27, 2020

The Lonely Venusian

There was a lonely man who lived on Venus
Everyone avoided him, due to his breath
When it came out he thought it smelled of gum
To everyone else it was putrified death

Although he kept chickens, he was very poor
Among those to shun him were local lenders
He took matters in his hands and built an incubator
He'd spend hours there, a prolific egg-tender

He came across a woman who liked to hunt.
She had a bow on her back and arrows in her quiver.
She had the oddest manner of shakes and spasms.
When she pulled an arrow out it made her shiver.

Said he: "hello, would you like to trade game for eggs?"
"Then later I've got something to go between your meals."
Said she: "I'd go for a snack! Come sit on this rock."
"And while we're eating we'll talk about your deals."

Then they sat and talked of fortune and luck
And soon it looked like they were going to leave
The man stood up and gave the rock a kicking
Said he to her: "you'll enjoy this eve"

But then the woman caught a little whiffy
Said she: "dear me, is that coming from your gob?"
Thoroughly revolted, she didn't want to linger
She ran home and finished with her jobs

Downtrodden and lonely, he shuffled through the grass
What he really needed was a piece of soap
Later in bed, the blanket of his pick-tucked
Thought he: "What's a guy gotta do to have a hope?"

What he needed was a tonic bath that would bubble and fizz
Then he wouldn't smell so bad of filth and farts
His odor gone, a social door would unlock
And all the girls would love him for his massive heart

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