Friday, November 22, 2013

In regard to your concerns...

Gravity is a bitch.

Seriously, to be completely frank, it is tough to count just how many times gravity has fucked me over personally, and that's not to count how many times it's fucked me over professionally. But we have to make due, and continue on our paths as best we can.

I'll grant that space travel has become fairly commonplace now-a-days, and that you really have a choice when it comes to inter-system travel, but you have to believe me – we generally don't crash into suns. I mean, what, it's a hundred-to-one chance?

Sure, sure, we've lost three of the last five ships to routine errors. And yes, the travelers on those ships generally died a fiery death as they were caught in various stars' gravity wells, but these were total flukes – who could have predicted those stars would be there? It didn't look like they were there when we left. Do you expect us to be rocket scientists or something?

I'd like to assure you that ACME Travel is your number one source for inter-stellar travel at a price you can afford. In fact, that's our motto: you travel for less with ACME.

In sum, I'd very much like to greet you as you board our next budget cruise. I'm sure you'll have a memorable experience.

Thank you for choosing ACME!

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