Shark Batteries

 So there I was, no shit, in my electric boat with a shark swimming nearby. I'd heard about this scenario somewhere, but couldn't recall the exact specifics of the situation. In any case, a storm was raging, I was far from shore, and my emotional support llama was of absolutely no use.

In short, I was screwed.

It seemed like this was going to be a 'man versus' nature story with myself as the protagonist. Some real gritty stuff could happen - how would I weather the storm? Would I have to fix a leak in my boat as part of the road of trials? Would the third act be a confrontation with the shark where something set up earlier pays off? A new skill or tool or knowledge of myself?

With that all being said, what's up with the llama? Why did I go to sea with an emotional support llama? Am I really in a comedy? A farse? A satire? Any of these options seem far-fetched. Like, if this were a satire, wouldn't things be a little more clear? Wouldn't the shark represent some political party or the llama some prominent person? It really doesn't make sense.

Perhaps - perhaps - this is one of those stories that's more non-sequitur than sensical and relies on the surprise revel of information or, say, malapropism to create humor. Perhaps there's a groan-worthy pun lurking at the end of the page. But what could it be at this point? Something about lightning strikes? A play on the Spanish "¿como se llama?" Perhaps some disgusting twist on 'seize (seas) the day'? The last one could have been especially egregious had it been a carp near the boat instead of a shark - carpe diem, after all - but it wasn't so it can't be that.

Now, we're back to the drawing board on this particular story. We know there's a storm, a shark, a battery powered boat, a llama, and a man facing down the question of his place in this world. We've worked through a few scenarios of what could happen - the boat never leaked, for the record - and I think we don't have a good grasp of where this story is going. What have I learned? What do I represent other than a narrator in search of a genre?

Oh, shit.

Has this all been a metafiction? A self examination of my own story? Why would someone create such an unfulfilling story?

It's like the author merely wanted to fill a page with words.