Monday, June 24, 2019

Swimmingly

“What’s with the long face?”

“I have a bad feeling about that worm over there.”
“How so?”
“Well, Tommy went for one just like it an hour ago and I haven’t seen him since.”
“That’s so Tommy - he’s probably just pulling your fin.”


“He’s never been gone quite this long.”
“Are you telling me you’re afraid of a worm?”
“Afraid’s not the word.”
“What’s the word then?”

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Surf's Up

“Surf’s up dude!”
“What are you, a stereotype?”
“Whaddya mean? Like a Sony?”
“You just said ‘surf’s up, dude’.”
“Well, it is! If we don’t get going, we’ll miss it!”
“Miss the surf?”
“Yeah!”
“How does one miss the surf?”
“Usually at a bar. Just kinda hits you. One minute you’re drinkin’ and the next you know you’re missin’ the surf.”


Saturday, June 8, 2019

Lotto Haiku

Drinking Pure Blonde Beer
Been a full day of painting
Ultra low carb end

&

Plinking Star Wars tune
In the cafeteria
Piano Practice

&

Cylons and Toasters
Battlestar Galactica
Will the humans win?

Thursday, June 6, 2019

Transfixed

"I swear I couldn't look away!"

"What do you mean 'couldn't'?"

"It had me transfixed! under a spell! Entranced!"

"You mean to say you were completely unable to perform any action other than stare at the object?"


"Precisely."

"Despite your duties?"

"I'm afraid so."

Sunday, June 2, 2019

Foretold

"Well, who saw this coming?" one of the trio spoke after a moment's pause. Her companions shared a look and simultaneously shrugged their shoulders.

"Really, really? You two mean to say that we accidentally appeared on a beach that seems perfect for the three of us to take a nice, relaxing holiday? No planning? No intervention? No shenanigans at all?"


"Atty, we knew you'd never allow it, which is why I didn't say anything when Chloe planned it. That said, we're here and it's all in order, so you should just relax."

Saturday, June 1, 2019

The Beast is a Metaphor

"Oh my fucking God - it's coming right at us!"
At that, alarms started blaring throughout the ship. Panic was the order, though a few pushed through the bands of people in order to try to save the lives of everyone onboard.

"Try to stay calm, everyone!" our presumed protagonist commanded. "Make your way to the lifeboats and shelter unless we give the order to launch!"

The command made only the slightest change in the general demeanor. Too busy to be frustrated with the stupidity of the masses, our protagonist - a young woman named Laura, as I've written too many male characters recently - patted her uniform ritually as if some answer to the current predicament were hidden in one of her pockets. Bumped one time too many by the passengers, she pushed, climbed, and shoved her way onto the bridge.

Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Mind over Matter

"Try not to focus too intently - you'll pop a synapse."

The neophyte didn't acknowledge her senpai, daring not to spare even a glance. The object - her object - floated in front of her as a partially filled balloon. She struggled to control it. Her eyes burned as she tried to manipulate it; tried to push it left, right, up, or down. She was barely aware of the tears running down her cheeks or the blood in her palms from her fingernails squeezing into her skin.

A melodramatic approximation of a cough filled the small room and echoed off the walls. Startled by the sudden eruption, the student lost control and the object 'blipped' out of existence. Now it was gray walls, gray tunics, and an accusatory stare.

Friday, May 24, 2019

Drifting

It had already been a long day. Another two hour delay was met with laughter - the whole adventure turned to farce early in the trip and the crew realized the futility of anger in the face of nature.

"I could swim there faster," a voice growled in the cramped cabin.

"My Grandma could swim there faster," another voice added.

"Yeah, but how would she pull the load?" a final voice, the Captain's, completed the trio.

"Heh, keep the rope in her dentures. Use her tits as floaties. Scare all the traffic out of the lane," the first voice speculated.

"Don't talk about my Grandma that way," the second voice, a younger man, protested through a smirk. "She's dead."

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

NSW State Library



Murky Streams and Shifting Sands
Thoughtless Mind and Aimless Plans
I haven't the slightest of where I am
Nor of where I'm headed

***

[Free Dinner]

I want some chocolate
Perhaps a kit kat bar
I passed a dozen shops
But none fit the bill

I hope there's one nearby
Rather not walk far
I just want a little snack
Before I get my fill

***

This Library's Nice
To hear people dying
The seating is great
The sounds are trying

Monday, May 13, 2019

Adelaide City Library



Shoe Shoppin'
Tip Toe Hoppin'
Bouncin' all around

Warm puddin'
Feelin' good in
Adelaide Town

***

Eyes on paper
Big small favor
Don the hat of
Word reshaper