- Author change denoted by %
- Some light editing for ESL authors
With a shiver I cursed what had gotten me into this whole predicament. I rubbed my calloused hands up and down my now-raw arms and legs, trying to bring a moment of warmth to my flesh. A noble, but doomed effort - beyond the walls of this pitch-black cabin was tons upon tons of ice and snow.
I shouldn’t have been so cocky. %
I couldn’t help but think back to the final scene of ‘Into the Wild’. How ironic it was that I had just watched the film before going on this trip, and now, stuck in this icy mess, I feared that I would see the same fate as the protagonist in that movie: frozen and alone. Warmed by nothing but my pride coming back to bite me. %
And now the moment that I really don’t want to see. The light of the day is going by. I feel like it’s torturing me, disappearing like that. So slowly. For me every second is an eternity. %
But why do I want the light to disappear faster? Maybe I should enjoy that it feels like an eternity. Maybe I should try to let it all go and stay in now. Deep breath in, deep breath out, one more time, and one more.
And one more until I feel better. It sounds easier when others talk about it, but why is it so hard to do it. Maybe I am doing something wrong. Oh, I remember, they say one should go back to breathing every time the mind starts to wander. Breathe. %
It is natural to do something wrong; we are humans. But our reality is to insist and continue until it destroys our lives. %
It happened. The iciness has conquered my whole soul and body. I may have become an ice queen. The clock struck one am. I felt this sudden urge inside me, controlling me. I couldn’t resist for I was too weak. I started to leave the house and let the night wash all over me. %
I hear wolves howling. Moon shines over my nose, my shoulders. I’m hungry… wait… I can’t feel even hunger. I’m frozen. The snow is fresh and crumbly. One slow step after another. But I crack. I can’t anymore.
So shall I die. In night. In watching this massive white wall of snow’s reflection. Moon shine. Moon shine. I am kneeling down. I lose strength. I lose track. The wolves are getting louder and louder.
And then black.
In sleep I dreamt I was warm. And my beloved came as a wolf, with her friend wolves and laid all around me. Covered me with their fur. And we slept together in moonshine. Until the sun’s rays reach again my long awaited breath.