Originally, it was just an Eagle on a Cactus

"Snakey Stinks."

I let out a long sigh.

"Honey, don't say that. Your father bought it just for you when he was in Mexico. Apparently Snakey helped found Mexico!"

"IDONCARE - IWANDADDY!!"

My sanity was slipping. We'd been though this exact conversation a dozen times over the past two weeks, but Juliet refused to move on. Was it worth it to walk this path again? Was it worth the tears and the wailing to stand firm? Was telling the truth worth the pain?

Juliet started pounding her tiny fists on the table. It begins.

"Honey, please. I miss daddy just as much as you do."

"Nuh uh! You made him go!"

"No baby, you know that's not true."

"He said --!!"

"SWEETIE. We've talked about this. He left for us, not because of us. Now it's your bedtime. Do you want to take Snakey to bed with you or not?"

"No bed!" Juliet declared, crossing her arms and tucking her chin down to her chest. I'd hoped to avoid this with the Snakey question. Fine. Another tack.

"Okay Juliet, I'm tired of going through this every night. You're going to bed now if I have to carry you and strap you down."

On the plus side, I'd skipped a half-hour of negotiations. Unfortunately, I'd skipped right to the screaming part of the night. I tried to focus. I tried to find my center. But at some point it's too much.

I was alone.

I broke down.

The two of us sat on opposite sides of the little tea table, bawling. Perhaps this was bonding?

[written April 2015]